Funkin’ Punkins: A Halloween Odyssey

Oh, y’all. I got a wee tad excited about Halloween this year. Specifically, I got a little fixated on carving a jack-o-lantern, and imagined it would be BIG FUN for our little family. Wherein, I learned momming lessons #127,892, #127, 893, and #127,894 (for those of you scoring at home).

Pumpkin #1

On a beautiful Sunday, we officially make it a family affair and headed to the local pumpkin patch. Side note for the Dallas-area born-and-raised: It’s on the graveyard of the one-and-only Penny Whistle Park. (OMG! I know! Right?) The “welcome” sign is STILL there, I really want it bad. I’m working on it. I digress. As usual.

After careful scrutiny and an in-depth selection process which centered around, “Which one do you like, Andy?” We took our bounty home. At that point, Andy was pretty much underwhelmed and was off to play “lasso!!!!” with a wooden spoon. Matt and I enjoyed ourselves.

Once it was carved and the seeds were roasted. It was both pretty(!) and yummy(!).

Not so fast there, partner.

My good lookin’ husband said the seeds were like “eating raw vegetation” (not the good kind, apparently). And, then, for the love of Pete, we watched the ding-dong jack-o-lantern decompose. Pour one out for our homie, Pumpkin #1. We hardly knew ye.

Pumpkin #2

I’m nothing if not resourceful, right? Time to make lemonade out of lemons, or in this case a (non-organic) pumpkin out of a big-ass jar. Like thus:

It turned out a’ight. Not one of my better jobbies, but when Andy saw it assembled and lit, he yelled “PUNKIN’!!!!” So, mission accomplished. But kind of like when Bush was on that big ship with the banner behind him. Yeah. Like that.

Pumpkin #3

STILL highly motivated and optimistic, I plan on making this for a soirée this weekend. I just hope it doesn’t go the way of Pumpkin #1.

So help me out (for next year), Easy Company. Did I just get a bad gourd or do you have some tricks or treats (groan) for keeping a jack-o-lantern “alive” for more than a day?