About Us

Swiss Army Wives Laura & Kelly

K E L L Y | She’s Pinky Tuscadero and Rizzo rolled into one. But, smarter, funnier, kinder, and cooler, and way less scary (for a Sandra Dee like me). Your cool quotient goes up just by being in her presence. She’s a wife, mother, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, daughter, granddaughter, friend, corporate maven, and plate spinner extraordinaire. She amazes me on a daily basis. She’ll also hold your hair back and put a cool towel on your neck when you’ve had too much to drink.  
 
When she speaks or writes, I think “I wish I said that or thought of it that way.” Her perspective is simply mind-blowing. Saying she’s wicked smart doesn’t even begin to cover it. She shares her intelligence and humor in a way, with such aplomb and grace, that you feel smarter for just knowing her. Her mind is constantly going full-tilt analyzing, probing, evaluating, and editorializing. Swiss Army Wives will be the race track or wide open fields for her thoughts to run free.
 
A friendship with Kelly is a gift, and I’m so delighted to share this woman and her incredible, zany, humbling, profound, drink-aspiration inducing (you’ve been warned), spot-on, smack your forehead, and clutch your pearls musings with you, dear readers. Enjoy. I know I will.

L A U R A | Without further adieu (or additional French words), I introduce you to Laura: the most gracious, compassionate, well-mannered, warm, whip-smart, honey-hearted, and embracing women on the planet. Think the list ends there? Pshaw. She’s also The Ultimate Grand Supreme of goofiness, sometimes achieving a level of prize-winning and endearing dorkiness the likes of which you have never seen (and you WILL hug the stuffing out of her after witnessing this dorkitude because you cannot help yourself).

If that’s not enough, she’s also unfailingly kind. I do not use that modifier lightly – I have never known her to utter an unkind word or display unkind behavior in all the years I’ve known her. Think I’m kidding? Honey, she makes Glenda the Good Witch look like a Real Housewife of Oz County.

(Nope, I’m not finished yet, so smooth yer skirt and yer ‘do, and keep your britches on for a just a few moments more.)

Tough. Artistic. A cutter-of-the-crap. Brainy. Fierce. Wickedly creative, and absolutely polluted with talent. A sweet and savvy mom, a consummate professional, and to me, perhaps her most enviable (and cherished) quality? She’s a tugboat.

Huh?

I shall ‘splain.

If you are gifted with her friendship, she will tenaciously pull you from life’s morasses, no matter how deeply you’re entrenched, and no matter how long it takes. You might be limping, you might be blinded by your own pain, but if you look over, there she’ll be, moving you forward inch by inch, day after day, until you’re safely in port.

Prepare to love her, readers. You won’t be able to help yourself.